A Cycle of Kissing and Denial
by Lyralocke
Summary: SoraKairi, oneshot. So we’re kind of stuck in this cycle of kissing and denial. But we’re okay with that, because it will only last until we’ve gotten to know each other again.


_I uh... went kinda weird on this one. I wanted to write something the way people think. It's from Kairi's point of view. So if it seems weird and haphazard, it's because I was just writing things as I thought them. It kinda took a lot out of me, honestly. All the run-on sentences and fragments and weird grammar and tense was like... tough. I'm just so used to writing uh... properly or whatever. But I digress, enjoy, comment, review, whatevs._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts_

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He's home.

After all the waiting and the hoping and the wishing and the _longing_, he's finally home.

And I'm so happy with him, but at the same time, I can't help but notice that something has changed between us. Of course I didn't expect everything to be exactly he same, but I can't quite figure out what's changed.

The good changes are obvious. That bond between us, that tie, that connection, that _thing_ that's always been there though I'm never quite sure what it is, is like a string connecting us to the point that I always seem to know where he is without looking. And it's _there_, it's physically _there_ and it's so strong and so real that I can't help but just grin when I wake up in the morning and feel all warm and fuzzy, as cliché as that sounds.

Because I can't seem to forget that year in which that _thing_ wasn't there. That awful year that I spent driving myself crazy worrying about him and wondering about him and missing him and wanting him and _needing_ him even though I couldn't remember him. But I knew that his memory and his promise were the most important things in my life and if they kept slipping through my fingers like that, something terrible would happen. And I got so obsessed with him, so committed to remembering all of his features and all of his quirks, that at school I came to be known as "the Incredible Sinking Kairi."

But now he's here, he's home, he's with me, and I really just want to forget all about that year.

I suppose there's a reason I can't forget. And it's a reason I'm kind of embarrassed about.

While he was gone, there was that promise between us. That promise that I would always be with him, and he would always come back to me. And that promise kept me alive, even when I couldn't remember it. It kept me going, knowing that there was something strong and undeniable between me and this boy I loved so much. Oh yes, even when I forgot about him, I knew I was in love with him. That drove me even crazier trying to remember him.

But now he's home. All the destiny and promises have been stripped away, and all I have left is him. I want him, and I'm ready for him, but I don't quite know how to handle him. After all, he's changed.

He's tall now, and his voice is lower and steadier. His hair has lightened, his eyes have darkened, he has muscle and his hands are rough, and he has this smell. This extraordinary, delicious smell that he hadn't had before. My heart flutters and heat rushes to my face every time I catch the scent. And when he touches me, I feel so light and warm. He never had that effect on me when we were kids.

Of course, that's not to say he knows how to handle me. I can see that I affect him the same way. After all, I'm taller too. My hair is longer and darker, I'm pretty sure my eyes have gotten even bluer, and then there's the simple fact that I've… grown up.

But we haven't just changed physically, him and me. He's quieter now, and he likes to be alone sometimes. His journey has made him stronger and wiser, and I can see that he's weary, but on the outside he's still my Sora. He's still playful and childish, just as I had told him so long ago. Don't ever change.

Then there's me. When we were younger, I was a lot more… combative. I had to be to keep up with Sora and Riku. We used to argue a lot, so I could hold my own. It was just playful arguing, but I think missing him so much for so long had taken all the fight right out of me. Now all I could do was love him.

Not that he minds. When he's not off on his own, reacquainting himself with home, he wants me at his side at all times, afraid I'll disappear again. And I love him for it. In fact, just about everything he does makes me love him even more.

Both of us pretend nothing has changed. And when it gets too obvious, he'll just hold onto me and we'll kiss and get wrapped up in each other and try to distract ourselves from the fact. And we'll just keep on kissing and holding each other and falling asleep in each other's arms until we're used to the changes. And I'm sure it won't take long, because we love each other so achingly much it's almost irritating. Like having a stomachache that won't go away when we're apart.

That's why we're together almost constantly. And that's why the fact that we've both changed so much becomes too obvious so often. So we tend to end up kissing and holding each other a lot. Which makes us want to spend even more time together. So we're kind of stuck in this cycle of kissing and denial. But we're okay with that, because it will only last until we've gotten to know each other again.

Then it'll just be kissing without the denial.

I'm so glad he's finally home.


End file.
